Chile Culture — 27 February 2016
by
Walker Rowe
 
I have found absolute proof that the Chilean, and Spanish people, from which they sprang, are illogical. Read on.
 
At the university, in between time spent playing tennis and smoking pot, I occasionally attended classes. My major was mathematics, a topic I mastered with a solid C. In mathematics you can literally see the limits of your intelligence. I could see that mine reached not nearly as far as, say, the guy who never did his homework, always walked the halls juggling a ball, yet invariably could answer every one of those starred (most difficult) questions in the text book.
 
But there was a subject that I excelled at: logic. For whatever reason, I made straight As and was the best student in the class both semesters for a topic that came naturally to me. I might be rude and standoffish and not understand people, but my mind definitely works in P & Qs, which probably explains the prior problem.
 
In case you don’t know basic logic, the very first step is you write IF P THEN Q or in the syntax of logic p ⊃ q . That simple idea leads to all kinds of deductions, enough to fill two semesters anyway.
 
So, following the principles of deductive logic, here is proof that the Spanish people are illogical. I will just explain it as a formal proof is a little tedious for such a simple idea.
 
This argument can be made with one observation: in the Spanish language, people use the double negative.
 
That by itself is illogical. In other words they are saying the exact opposite of what they intend to say or are saying it in an illogical manner.
 
Here are some examples:
 
“It is not true that he is not tall.”
 
That means he is tall. If you said he is not(tall) then he is not tall. But here you are saying he is not(not(tall)), meaning he is tall. Why don’t they just say “he is tall?”
 
Why is there such convoluted ways of expressing oneself in Spanish? People speak like this every day. One grammar website dismisses this as to say “Note that unlike English, double negatives are acceptable in Spanish.” So are revenge killings in Nigeria, but the world should strive to something more reasonable.
 
The grammar website gives these two examples:
 
“No habla nadie.” = “Nobody speaks.”
 
“Él no come nunca.” = “He never eats.”
 
Could this backwards thinking be the reason that the English invented calculus as did the Germans (Isaac Newton did not know that Leibniz was working on this too. So they both invented it.). During that time the Spanish invented: the empanada.
 
Nothing logical that I can think from came from Spain. Picasso and Goya were game-changing artists. But Picasso’s “Les demoiselles d’avignon” is the very antithesis of logic. It requires a leap of faith to understand it. In other words it requires tossing logic out to grasp it.
 
Could this be the reason that in Chile, a Spanish country, you have to call the moving company three times to confirm that they will actually show up on moving day? Could this be why if you want internet you need to ask 3 times and go in person twice? Could this be why your complaints filed with the police need to be followed up with a visit in person, several times.
 
If this is a character flaw of the Spanish race then there is not much that can be done to lift up Latin America from its third world status. So Bachelet and Piñera might as well quit talk about that and try to do something basic that might help, like putting an internet signal in all parts of Chile and firing incompetent teachers.
 
Thank goodness Christopher Columbus was an Italian. Without him we would still be the Lost Continent and there would be no empanadas.

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